Peep Show!

For those out there that have breastfed babies, you may be all too familiar with the breast pump. For those of you that have yet to have the pleasure of making its acquaintance, you are lucky. Yes, it serves its purpose, but I definitely have a love hate relationship with mine.

I will likely write more on this dysfunctional relationship later, but the only thing you need to know – there is no modesty while pumping! Boobs are out, nipples in full view, milk squirting out. Yeah, nice image, I know.

Since going back to work when the twins were 6 weeks old, I’ve had to pump in our empty sales training room. The last lady had to pump in the super cooled server room (closet), so I consider myself pretty lucky. One problem, however, is that it doesn’t have a lock on the door. So I’ve made a little cubicle in the back corner. If someone decides to walk past the big “Do Not Enter” sign, as they often do, I’m still hidden enough that they won’t see anything while I’m yelling at them to get out.

My little pumping station is on the second floor of an office building with those shiny, reflective windows. I’ve made sure to check, there’s no way someone can see you from the parking lot.

So, Monday, I’m pumping away. I decided to try closing my eyes and picturing the babies, it is supposed to help you produce more milk. For the record, doesn’t work for me at all. Evidently I’m not good at imagining this weird machine is actually my children, go figure.

While I’m sitting there,  I hear a little sound. Since I didn’t hear the door open, I know there’s no way anyone came in the room. So I sit there for another 2 minutes at least, eyes closed, pumping away. Then I hear a kinda loud bang on the window and I finally look up expecting to see some dumb bird flying away that had just flown into the building. Instead I see…window washers.  Yup, on their crane, washing the windows right in front of where I’m sitting – they have to have been there for at least the past 2+ mins!! I’m not a shy person, but believe me was I embarrassed! And yes, you can see through the windows if you are suspended right outside of them, I just hadn’t imagined there would ever be people right outside a second story window!

So after trying to subtlety disentangle myself with two guys standing right there (and trust me, it was not subtle, I was practically tripping over myself, spilling milk, boobs out etc) I returned to my desk to see an email warning the office that the window washers were coming. Sent about 1 minute after I left my desk, ugh!